NEWS
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Sarah Lawrence College (SLC) students know that parties are few and far between here. What many may not know is that we used to have a rich culture of on-campus drinking and partying. Beer used to be served at an on campus pub, and there was a night where being a drunk lesbian was specifically encouraged. It sounds like a fantasy, a Sarah Lawrence of endless possibilities. How did we lose these sacred traditions?
The Editorial Board of The Phoenix received this open letter from a group of Sarah Lawrence professors and faculty, signed below, with the request that we publish it on their behalf.
If you or someone you know stands to lose SNAP benefits, here’s what you can do to bridge the gap until benefits come back.
SPORTS
A week before homecoming, the Sarah Lawrence College (SLC) women’s basketball team saw the sparks of something new.
On Oct. 26, the Sarah Lawrence College women’s cross country team made history when they won the program at their first Skyline Conference championship. There were a lot of components that led to this year’s successes: great coaching, camaraderie and hard work, but also newcomers, including the rookie senior Perry Yun ‘26.
The women’s tennis team had their first Skyline match last Thursday, Sept. 18, against Yeshiva University. The match was held at United States Tennis Association (USTA) Billie Jean King National Tennis Center in Flushing, NY, also home to the U.S. Open. It was an extremely close match, with the Gryphons losing 3-4. Regardless, the team agrees that it was a great way to start off the conference.
ARTS & CULTURE
On Nov. 15, the musical theatre ensemble presented the second of three runs of “Hello, Dolly!” The musical follows the matchmaker Dolly Levi, played by Anabel Richardson ‘27, as she tries to find a wife for Horace Vandergelder, played by Clayton Miller ‘26.
Phoenix staff photographer Angel Alatriste ‘27 photographed SLC Music Festival’s first rock festival of the year, Lucid. The show was in the Cannon Theater on Oct. 4 with performances by student music groups Rena and the Angels, Claude Candid, Lucky Number, Icarus Bod and Luminol.
The Scandal Revue, Sarah Lawrence’s Burlesque Club, held their Halloween Show last Friday evening, Oct. 24.
OPINIONS
THE ASHTRAY
This just in! I’ve gotten my hands on a new set of initiatives fresh off the President's desk. It’s amazing what you can learn from scavenging in the gold-plated dumpsters outside of the President’s new palatial digs.
In a groundbreaking announcement made early this morning, Sarah Lawrence College has introduced its plan to change its name. According to the college’s representative, growing concerns and pushback from students have led Sarah Lawrence to believe that it is important and integral to the school’s mission and reputation that it not flaunt and promote the name of an old white woman.
What follows is a cautionary tale about the perils of not reading your class syllabus. Do not let this happen to you.
Tiktok is dead and buried. Facebook is only relevant if you’re over the age of fifty. Instagram is on thin ice (and that’s only if you’re casual about it). Twitter is run by a literal Nazi. If you even try to bring up Snapchat, I’ll laugh in your face. So… What is the next big social media platform?
We received feedback directly from the community that Sarah Lawrence was feeling left out on these traditions. Sure, we have Sleazeball and 30x30, but we needed something fresh and new. Don’t worry, Gryphon Nation! We have come up with the perfect tradition, perfectly tailored to the lovely, lovely students of the college!
Apparently, we already have a few rivals. I say “apparently” because none of them are ‘real’ rivals. One of our so-called ‘college rivals’ is Vassar College, which is a joke. Every single student that I know was waitlisted from Vassar. I’ve also heard people say that our rival is NYU. I do not believe that in the slightest. I don’t think NYU even knows that we are their rival, which makes it kind of embarrassing. We need a rival who is going to actually know that we exist.
“Recently, the development office received a letter from an alumna in San Francisco who was distressed by the rumor that the campus is now 50 percent homosexual”, states Anne Rophie in her article for The New York Times.
Realistically, it is probably closer to 90 percent.
Most people on campus have read the article that Rophie dedicates to talking about one so-called ‘problem’: most of the Sarah Lawrence student body is queer. Honestly, that is a pretty accurate read. But is it a problem? No. But in the year 2025, there is an actual problem. A new trouble plaguing Sarah Lawrence . (No, it’s not another cult.)
Where are all of the emos at Sarah Lawrence College?
One of the main complaints I hear from my fellow Gryphons is that it is undeniably, excruciatingly difficult to date at Sarah Lawrence. Listen, I get it. And I’m here to help. A lot more goes into successfully finding a partner at Sarah Lawrence than it would at a bigger – or even small, but normal – school. I have put together a foolproof procedure to guide you all on how to conquer your fears and convince some of the scariest people on the planet (cool girls at Sarah Lawrence) to go out with you.
In a surprise announcement at this year’s athletic banquet, Sarah Lawrence College has announced that it will be starting a football team for the first time since a short-lived run a number of years ago. This announcement has come alongside some other surprising choices made by the newest addition to the athletic community: the first of which being that the team has decided to “own their own means of production” by immediately staging a coup d'etat and coaching themselves.
At a press conference on Oct. 27th—coincidentally held on Sylvia Plath’s birthday—Cristle Collins Judd’s speech ended with her noting that she is “aware that many of our students identify with the LGBTQ+ community, but as far as I’m concerned, you all fit under ‘G’: Gryphons.”